Two Things that Should Never, EVER Happen

As far as I'm concerned, there are two things that should never, EVER happen in this world.

1) STANFORD IS LEADING THE PAC-10.

Stanford, through no skill of their own, I assure you, is currently #1 in the Pac-10. It bothers me even to write it, or see it in print, or have to acknowledge it as fact. We are discussing a team that does not even have a real mascot. They are "the Cardinal" - and not like the bird, like the color. And they are leading the Pac-10. Mostly just because all the other teams (like USC, regrettably) have messed up, and not because Stanford's actually GOOD, but still. 

To make me feel better, and to remind everyone that Stanford has a lot of pain to look forward to, here are a couple of photos of the Trojans kicking ass on "the Cardinal" last year: 

This is a lovely shot of Fili Moala (#75) and Brian Cushing (#10, I have that jersey!) sacking Stanford's QB, Pritchard. I don't know what his number is, but he's the one that's about to experience a lot of pain.

In case you missed the game (it wasn't very exciting if you like close ones) and think that was some kind of coincidence, here's another:

In this one, Fili Moala is sacking Pritchard all by himself! Pretty much the whole game went like this, which is why USC won 45-23. This will happen again on Nov 14, almost exactly a year later, when Stanford experiences something similar. 

So at least their whole No 1-in-the-Pac-10-thing is going to be relatively short-lived.

Which brings me to possibly an even bigger issue, an even MORE pressing example of something that should NEVER, EVER, EVER happen:

2) I AM GOING CAMPING NEXT WEEKEND.

A week from today - I cringe to even think it - I am going to be in a tent somewhere, exploring California's geology along with the rest of "Crises of a Planet" class. And I will be camping. Overnight. 

Make no mistake, I would not be participating if this field trip wasn't mandatory. But it is, and I am currently in (temporary) possession of Christine's outdoor sleeping bag, which is rated down to 15F, just as the prof ordered. 

This is a problem. Because if you know me at all, you know I don't camp. And if you know my mother, you know why. And if you know my sisters, you know that - even if my father somehow got my mom on board with a camping trip - the three of us would stage a coup and avoid the whole thing. We just don't like the idea of being in nature without plumbing. We like some of those activities though, so every summer we try to get to an absolutely gorgeous place by the river where we do all of that stuff, and have the kind of fun I imagine most people have when they actually camp for real.

My dad actually did some tent camping as a kid. As for my mom, my sisters, and me? This is where we "camp":

It's Sunriver, Oregon! We have a lot of fun there doing all kinds of outdoor-sy things together. And this is the inside of where we stay, in one of the little baby cabins between the pool and the golf course:

We love it. Summer's not summer without a little Sunriver. 

But this is not going to be a Sunriver kind of weekend. This is going to be one of those weekends where there's an actual tent involved. One of THESE kinds of weekends:

I realize this is a lot of fun for a lot of people. And that's GREAT. But I am not one of those people, and I don't think I ever will be. Nonetheless, I will be experiencing it next weekend.

God help me. 

You know what? I'm gonna try not to think about it. Instead, I'm going to think about the amazing Eric Cantor fundraiser I'm going to tomorrow morning in Beverly Hills. Wearing that lovely suit. It's a much more pleasant thought...