The Inaugural BLOG-IT! Book Club: Moby Dick, Part I

SO I READ MOBY DICK. I really did. All 133 chapters and gazillion pages (I'm serious about all those chapters) and let me tell you -- nothing REALLY exciting happens 'til the VERY, VERY, END, but there are plenty of wackos to keep you entertained in the mean time.

Here are some of them now:


(You can click it to make it bigger and see my lovely artwork up close! And yes, these were doodled on a Post-It note. Hence the name "BLOG-it! Book Club" -- aren't I clever?)

That happy, regular old joe up to the left is ISHMAEL. He's the narrator, but he doesn't really do much. Notably, he started the book with the line "CALL ME ISHMAEL," which seems pretty regular, but a lot of people think it's a big deal. I don't, because the very next thing he says is, "SOME YEARS AGO...I THOUGHT I WOULD SAIL ABOUT A LITTLE," which is pretty random right after introducing yourself, and makes the start seem all choppy.

(Next time you are talking to someone who is faking they read Moby Dick - trust me, they didn't - and say something about the beginning, throw that little morsel out and feel intellectually superior. From College Kate to you, friends.)

ANYWAY, THAT HOMEBOY there next to our pal Ish is QUEEQUEG. He's inked. He's also from the South Pacific, which kinda freaked Ish out at first, but then they became BFFs.

They went off to become whalers and work for CAPTAIN AHAB, the yoo-hoo with the pirate hat. He has a peg-leg made out of a whale jaw because he's an obsessive egomaniac whose compulsions LITERALLY sink the ship. More than one actually.

STARBUCK is his first-mate. Starbuck considers killing Ahab at one point because he realizes Ahab is nuts and is going to kill them all, but doesn't. Other than that, he just has a really cool name. I gave him a striped shirt because he reminds me of an emo Mr. Smee from Peter Pan.

The fella with the mean stink-eye is Crazy Pip. Pip went bonkers when he was accidently left to die in the ocean for a few days. After they found him again, he had become a lunatic (hence the fun joker hat) but some of the stuff he said was oddly prophetic. He and Ahab got real tight there towards the end.

Those other little guys are FEDULLAH (in the crown) & FRIENDS. Ahab hired them on as mercenaries for the sole purpose of hunting down Moby Dick as vengeance for stealing Ahab's leg (and sanity). Told you he was whacked.

ANYWAY, ALL THESE PSYCHOS get on board the PEQUOD, which is decorated with bones and teeth from whales (which probably should have been a sign) Later they meet a bunch of OTHER BOATS FULL OF CRAZIES and they all sail off together to catch

MOBY DICK!!!! He's giant white sperm whale with a taste for human flesh. He's also a romantic symbol, which means he doesn't actually symbolize anything at all.

TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT POST!!